YO !
itz been for ever since i last touched blogger ! i guess my posts are really lacking. but anyway ! these few days have been pretty damn hectic. i get tired and restless pretty easily. but aside all these little bumpers, i actually am in love !!!! ha ha ! okay maybe the term is way too deep for what am feelin now. maybe more-than-interested is the right word. so ye. i really think we 2 are fated. asin. oh i dont kno the word to describe but maybe you'll ged wot i mean after you understand.
so on sunday the july 6th, i was having lunch when i glanced up and saw him comin in to the canteen. PS: let's juz call him level 7 for convenience's sake. then i thot, whoa he looks cool ! but that wuz it. he went to the back of the canteen, i dont kno wot he did cuz i didnt turn back but awhile later, he came back with bags in his hands. i looked at his tee shirt to be greeted with " ACJC " damn he's smart i thot but he looks so young !
when dinner time came, i wuz gettin my food when he came a while later i think. i cant quite remember already. but anyway. we ate finished at the same time which goes to say that we walked back to the lift together excpet, he was walking so fast half the time !!!! i brisk walked to catch up then suddenly it hit me. like, why the fuck am i trying to walk faster for ?? i came to my senses and strolled back slowly instead. i thot to myself : bye level 7 ! you can run away from me as much as you want cuz im not gonna catch up with you you faggot. and with that, i forgot his existence.
. . till july 9th, the wednesday. i came down for dinner thinkin about sandi's words ( that i am only wasting money by not eating. ) so i went down and - gasps ! - they have really yummy meals i swear. that day, they served macaronis baked with cheese and the other choice was this rice thang. i was queue-ing sweetly when for no special reason, i turned to my left and fuck !!! my heart beat increased like one big fuck load ! i wuz so shocked i turned to the front immediately. i mean, it's like i havent been feelin all-over-guys for so long i've forgotten how it felt like and when it actually came to hit me, i got a bloody big shock i wuz shocked. i liked inverted MW but my heartbeat doesn't beat as fast and in fact, it never beat fastass. it simply skipped. ( BTW. he wuz behind me today when me wuz late and when ngor zai pao ne shihou. and surprisingly, i don't feel all in love with him anymore. which goes to show, i am so over him. someone who ain't worth a single fuck from me. ha ha, i sound so eveil. ) but anyway, back to my point, it wuz level 7 !!! all them guys were queue-ing for the rice set. there were only girls lining up for the macaroni. but L7 came to M queue right behind me ! of cuz it doens't mean anything but i was pretty darn happy. so i collected my dish. he got ahead of me tho cuz i wuz takin water. i sat right opposite him. i almost had a heart attack sitting there chewing on my macaronis calmly. in fact, i pretty much am surprised i could actually swallow them M so peacefully. i shouldave won the best acting award i swear. but anyway. i wanted him to walk first cuz i wanted to follow behind him again like THE spy. but that little fucker didn't move his ass ! he kept talkin to his budz. he's a thai !!!! - beams. - he's a thai mixed. but very sad thing he's such a shortie. anyway, as i wuz saying, i drank the soup slowly, munched on the veggies slowly, chewed on the lettuces slowly, but after like 900 seconds, he still didn't budge !! so i gave up. i went to throw my leftover first. i wuz walkin back when i heard his voice and true enough ! he WAS at the back ! i got into the lift with some other boarders. i didn't think they'd catch up with the speed they were walkin but suddenly, ta-daaah ! level 7 appeared !!! i wuz just lookin at him ( i was at the back, leanin against the wall of the lift while he was facing sideways towards my direction, near the lift entrance. ) when all of a sudden, his hands went to stop the closing doors. i don't kno how to describe here. it wuz like, the doors were closing but he just calmly raised his hands and risked the danger of having his hand chopped off by opening the door to the poor boy outside !! i mean. how nice can peopl get ? and how heroic can someone get ? most people'd've punched the open door button right. but his was he just did it nicely. even tho there MIGHT be some guys who do that, they put on the oh-am-so-cool mask. but level seven wuz so calm and it seemed like, just a small thing. he just calmly raised his hands. calmly. tell me. how many guys actually do that ?? more than half of the time, guys who do that is like, wanna show fucking off right !!? oh my. that is just so prince charming can. so he clicked on 7. and i clicked on 12. so the day went blank. gone.
on thursday the july 10th, i went to buy some FBT shorts from queenstown with KK and KW
where we first time witnessed a live man fainted !!! bimbo damn wasted you never see. got ambulance come lor ! then the man quite young lying on the cold stony ground. - sighs. - if only you were there to hold his freezing cold hands. brrr. but anyway. i planned to go back before 19.30 ( dinner ends at that time. ) cuz even if i missed dinner, i could at least walk past the canteen and see him right. but alas !! by the time everything ended, it wuz close to 20 o'clock !! i wuz actually really disappointed. so we cancelled ikea plan and went to tak the taxi to commonwealth tube station. but holy ! the train was crowded like a fish market ! people were like pressed pitifully against the window so since KK dislikes squeezing, she decided to send us off with the taxi. i agreed pretty unwillingly cuz i wanna take the train so i could walk past canteen. if i took car, it'd drop me right to the gate so then i'd definitely miss the chance of " bumping. " into him. so i told the taxi driver to drop me at the MRT station so i could take the bus back but KK said she'd just drop me directly at the hostel to which of cuz i didn't want. finally i reached hostel at 20 odd o'clock and with disappointment, i walked to the empty dark canteen. i still insisted crossing there cuz i was born to be stubborn, hopin to see him, listening to alanis m's songs from janene ja-ne-ne's sony. i wuz just walking with disappointment to the lift. waited for the lift in sadness. finally the lift came down. it wuz crowded. there were the indian guys but even tho the indian guys were bloody tall, my eyes led its way to level 7 !!!! ha ha !!! oh my goodness. i was happy like one big fat fuck okay. i amost smiled at him due to my happiness but i remained cold. as he went out, before he got his thumb print scanned, i wuz lookin at him of cuzzz. the guy in the lift asked me, " which level are you goin ? " mr level 7 turned back and i replied, " 7th. " which is his level just so you know. ha ha ! i was " going to do my laundry. " one oki. ( really one. my clothes are in the dryer but they aint dry cus i got no money to operate the machine. and i wuz just praying they'd dry stayin in the machine. ) i was smiling like wide wwwwwwwwiiiiiddddeeee by then. the music was blasting in my ears. the doors were closing and suddenly, i shouted, " wait !!!! outside got people want come in !!! press the open ! " and i reached out for the open button. ha ha ! holy shit. when i get excited, my english tends to get bloody broken pretty damn easily :oP
so then i spent my night in bed happily.
today on the friday the 11th, i wuz feelin really crazy exhausted after the ngee ann poly trip. it wuz alreay 19 o'clock so definitely i wouldn't have no shit time to take the bus back to " have dinner. " right. but i wuz never mind, i didn't feel like lookin at him today anyway cuz i felt and looked like diarrhea. or maybe gasps ! even worse than that ! my bag wuz as heavy as a mountain i had trouble and shoulder ache carryin it. the bus stop was crowded like a public pool, let alone the buses themselves. i wuzn't feelin good anyway so i took the taxi home. i went up to my room, put down my mountain bag and went down for " dinner. " i wasn't hungry. at all. but i went down anyhow. it wuz 19.20 o'clock. momsie called and bird's daddy just past away :o(
this is suppozed to be a really grievous thing but somehow, i don't feel sad cuz i wasn't close to his dad to begin with. tho i have to admit it pretty damn hurt to know you dad's gone. well, momsie told me B's mom called her, wailing darn loudly. and painfully. momsie tot they had a quarrell so she consoled shi-mei aunt but she cried even harder, saying her husband had just passed away. and that she might as well poison herself as well. i really am beginnin to get scared of life. it ends as soon as it starts. i have to call her but well, i haven't. i have to console bird. but i've been living life fatherless for 8 years now and the truth ? it rock. ha ha ! i love mom. she's so strong. she's someone i greatly aspire to be :o) im not saying juz cuz mom is my mom. she's a woman with strong character. she doens't need a husband to get on with life. which kinda reflect me. i think. hehe. dad had an affair when she was heavily pragnant with jason. not only that, dad already made his mistress bloody pragnant. for a pragnant woman to accpet the fact that her husband has a pragnant mistress, it mustave felt much more painful than giving birth itself but momsie is not a weak woman. she gave birth to jason all the same and worked hard and made us study in singapore. even tho my wonderful mom is a woman, she fights like a man. she doesn't give up easily. she goes for everything she wants. KK even told me that mom's her idol since she was young cus last time, mom was the only woman in the business meeting at our house. them rest were all man and thus, my mom is a capable superwoman. everywhere i go, i hear people praising momsie. they tell me mom is a special character. she's a strong woman who can earn a living and support her 3 children to study abroad with her own hard work, without the help of a husband. last time when i stayed over at bedok, khar shinn aunt was tellin me, i have to study hard to re-pay momsie cuz all the money's earned by her. and that my old guardian can't even compete with momsie cuz so wot if guardian completed her studies and mom didn't ? G doesn't earn as much money as momsie does. and momsie not only knows how to earn money. she knows many other things like cooking. i love the compliments. " your mom is a very special woman. and i doubt you can be like her. " ha ha ha ! yes, somehow, i don't carry momsie's genes i guess but oh well :o) how about your mom ? i am sure youre damn proud of her too right ? :o)
i've never once said that i love her tho. i don't know. i am shy okay. ye lisa shy. how surprizing ? not at all.
so if let's say one day i am gone, please tell my mom she's the woman that every women can't compete with. she's someone with character. and i'm most proud to be her daughter :o) and that i love her for eternity. not to mention my grandma. and brothers. and the love they showered wondorously on me. and that i'm sorry for the times i really went against her words. the times when i was younger and often was naughty. but underneath it all, i hope i'd be like her when i'm an adult. i wanna be successful like her and that she'll always be the model of my life. but !!!!!!! nothing'll happen to me one okay ! cannot curse myself.
but anyway, where wuz i ?
oh ye. that bird's dad is gone and that i have to call them to send my greatest condolences. so i was chattin with mom happily, hardly touching my food ( i wusn't even hungry to begin with. ) when i looked up and saw level 7 with his friend walking to the food-throwing-place !!!!! ha ha ! holy shit. i smiled until saliva all dribbed on the table ah i tell you. i didn't see him cuz i was on the phone. my hands were carrying the food tray, my phone was placed between my shoulder and head so bazically, i couldn't look up and i sat at the very first empty seat cuz the tray wuz very heavy and my phone was gonna drop. so anways. i was like, level 7 !!! omgoodness ! turn ! i-see-you-but-did-you-see-me ? sorta thang. but i highly doubted he would turn back cuz he might be sitting toward the other direciton right. but i kept my eyes fixed on him. he didn't turn. i sighed with disappointment. then ! all of a sudden, he patted his friend's shoulder to indicate him to the water cooler. L7 went to drink followed by his friend. the thing is, he never drinks !!! i mean, he drinks but he doens't drink there ! he always take fruit punch ! okay maybe am being sensitive. but anyway, as his friend was drinking, he turned his body to the canteen and faced right at me !!! !@#!aaa11!1one. i smiled 0.01 % but it didn't count cuz i could be smiling atthe phone right. i quickly looked down due to " shyness. " ha ha ha ! see ! thatz why me very happy ^^
anyways. there's this annual dance this sunday and should i go ? if i go, i'd be alone cuz i aint got no room8s ! if i don't, i'd be like the lonely little girl who ' chooses-to-stay-in-the-room-instead-of-partying-till-the-night-turns-bright. ' but oh well. am not gonna go. mind's set. if i go tho i can see him but the thing is, am not going.
well anyways. this week i'll be stuck at the hostel cuz i've got hourly detention \ report cuz i came home at 00.30 on sunday. ha ha ha ! well, i ave to getup at a 8 bloody A.M tomorro and the reporting starts at 9am till 10pm so basically, i report every hour at the office. i know. my life's
so sad. damn.
me stayin over @ skool for denTal cheggup.
i had to split me teeth ! and now therz a bloody big black whole in between my front teeth which can no longer qualify for a bimbo anymore :oC i quit. reluctantly.
no more smilin from today on.
do not judge the book by its cover. we love studying as much as you do ;o) hehe thatz me friend bao kun and kai ting :o)
and i really do miss this white monkey here
:oC. jason faggot how are you in there ??? ha ha, without me, there's no more internet. without you, there's no more $$$ to earn easily !!! fucker. ask you call me back you never call. or is it the lao a pek never tell you i call. faster call me. and if you see this, use ah-nee's number call me. i dont have her number and tell her to wake me up at 5.30am every morning. i using another phone. but numba's still da same. i miss you kno. and if you dont like te math teacher then go sack him. remember. this is your crucial year. dont let him waste any of your time. go tell him you'd fun with him but you don't like his way of teachin. you're only left with 2 more months to PSLE. you know how do all the work not ? if not call me then i meet you with farah. she can teach you. you faster call me chji bye head. and mom asked you if you dare live there alone or not. at night dare sleep or not. and pack my things up in boxes can. the hag will go charge me as usual if my things stillthere. send my love to ah-nee only. and bye white monkey ! muahhhhhh. CALL.
here's the very last pictures i have of him taken in june before i sent him to the airport. he's my 13 year old brother i love :o) like how i tell everyone when they ask me who am i closer with, with jason, we joke and i play like a boy he plays like a girl. we tell jokes. we fight. we shout at each other. i call him white boy. i call him white monkey. i call him gaylord. i call him fag. i call him crazy fucker. i tell him, " you think you so cool boy ? " " don't fight with me you white boy. " he calls me bitch. he calls me fat girl. he calls me black mama. he says,
"
jie, what does the bird say when it's having a flu ? "
" shut up lah. dont ask me stupid things. "
"
it says tweet tweet ! "
both, " HA
HA HA
HA."
and yes. with him, we're just childish. but with jaw, we have the adult kinda fun. we go out with friends and chill out. so the contrast is one's young fun and the other's adult fun and i am close to both of them :o)
say bye.
whaaaat ? am i supposed to pose like this ? faster i need to pack my luaggage.
faster look up and smile.
faster act cool.
how ???
just put your leg on your luaggage.i then dont want ah ! i dont act cool.
fatser lah for this foto. put your hand on you chin faster.wha lau.
hold the luaggae and gimme the sad look.
at city hall. i didn't wanto skip sku intentionally tho. i juz happened to gat up late and i didn't wanto go to sku cuz i don't like it when i go in to the class and people start thinkin, oh my, so late still wanna come, makes me look like an attention sicker. not seeker but SICKer. so i bathed and got ready ya dee dee dah, chilled the whoe beautiful day out. i like going out on weekdays more than weekends cuz me feel like an adult when me isout on weekdays ! ha ha ! me is havin this odd habbit of sayin " me. " insteada " i. " so anyway ! after the whole day out, we were blardy tired. not to mention the 2 heavy azz bags we had to carry. took the taxi home. KK sent me all the way in to the hostel. she wuz like, where'z the handsome guy ??? so when we were driving past the canteen, i kept a cloze lookout for him but didn't see him
at city hall. i didn't wanto skip sku intentionally tho. i juz happened to gat up late and i didn't wanto go to sku cuz i don't like it when i go in to the class and people start thinkin, oh my, so late still wanna come, makes me look like an attention sicker. not seeker but SICKer. so i bathed and got ready ya dee dee dah, chilled the whoe beautiful day out. i like going out on weekdays more than weekends cuz me feel like an adult when me isout on weekdays ! ha ha ! me is havin this odd habbit of sayin " me. " insteada " i. " so anyway ! after the whole day out, we were blardy tired. not to mention the 2 heavy azz bags we had to carry. took the taxi home. KK sent me all the way in to the hostel. she wuz like, where'z the handsome guy ??? so when we were driving past the canteen, i kept a cloze lookout for him but didn't see him
see my eyes so fat.
