fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. i can't believe i'm actually shedding tears over this. i thought i was a happy girl awaiting for friday the last day of school but no. i'm downright hurt and frustrated. why can't she just at least tell me that i fucking improved, idiotic byotch. i am so pissed in a very sad manner. all becos of report card shit i hate result slips. i failed almost all my subjects and yeh she was there just blabbering on and on and what kind of stupid shit question is this. " are you prepared to take the consequences ? " well no you fucktard obviously i don't fucking know and even thought about the consequences ! i hate it when people ask me questions like this. well isn't it bloody obvious that the answer i will answer is a mere shrug !? " if your results are still bad, you'll have to quit school you know. are you prepared to quit school ? " what the fuck lah i am so urgh !!! angry angry. seriously, grow up and understand that when we teens get home with bad reports, all we want is a hug and words of encouragements from you just so we could feel better but what the fuck am i gettin !? it's seriously very stupid of you to keep telling me repeatedly that i am gonna fail i am gonna fail i am gonna fail you know how seriously fucked those words are ? can't you reverse it the other way round ? just, whoa you did bad but am sure you could do better. CAN'T YOU YOU !@#wnmqjhbgfcd@ertyu#I cos listen, when you do that, i am confident the next time round, i will prove you right that yes, i can do so much better than a F okay ? this is just, whatever.
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guardian just came in and told me she's gonna " fight. " for me and shit. i'm tearing once again. shit i hate emotional periods. all becos of my stomach i missed out the tests and without the med cert, i can't get the points so she's askin for my gleneagle's test result to show the teacher oh man, why can't i understand. i hate myself sometimes when i misinterpret the situations. teared cos instead of encouragements, i got silly questions and shit but this time round, it's cos i know deep in her heart, she wants me to do well. i hope i'm matured soon enough to understand the meaning and thought behind eveyone's scoldings i get. and now i have to explain to my mom. i hope they leave me alone cos if they don't, i will cry when i talk to them. i don't cry over silly stuff but i cry when i'm too angry and when i've hurt someone. that's it. i guess i've made them adults disappointed and oh man, i just don't wanna talk to momsie, the one and only i truly love, along with my granny. i hate to see them faces and i hate it more when i know when the face carries something. i've grown to learn the 2 people i love most's meaning-behind-the-different-expressions. i hope my cell phone goes missing. no. scratch that. i hope my battery goes missing. no. i'm just running away from the situation which is SO.NOT.MATURED. i guess i'll just have to deal with it, i owe them one anyone. i've cheered a little now thank you very much ( obviously i'm just imaging engaging in a talk with people HA ! HA ! )
may the force be with me.
i look back at pictures that cheer me.
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guardian just came in and told me she's gonna " fight. " for me and shit. i'm tearing once again. shit i hate emotional periods. all becos of my stomach i missed out the tests and without the med cert, i can't get the points so she's askin for my gleneagle's test result to show the teacher oh man, why can't i understand. i hate myself sometimes when i misinterpret the situations. teared cos instead of encouragements, i got silly questions and shit but this time round, it's cos i know deep in her heart, she wants me to do well. i hope i'm matured soon enough to understand the meaning and thought behind eveyone's scoldings i get. and now i have to explain to my mom. i hope they leave me alone cos if they don't, i will cry when i talk to them. i don't cry over silly stuff but i cry when i'm too angry and when i've hurt someone. that's it. i guess i've made them adults disappointed and oh man, i just don't wanna talk to momsie, the one and only i truly love, along with my granny. i hate to see them faces and i hate it more when i know when the face carries something. i've grown to learn the 2 people i love most's meaning-behind-the-different-expressions. i hope my cell phone goes missing. no. scratch that. i hope my battery goes missing. no. i'm just running away from the situation which is SO.NOT.MATURED. i guess i'll just have to deal with it, i owe them one anyone. i've cheered a little now thank you very much ( obviously i'm just imaging engaging in a talk with people HA ! HA ! )
may the force be with me.
i look back at pictures that cheer me.
jaw and i last december. this was the day i finally ate squid ( i had i think 5-7 ? ha ! ha ! unbelievable ain't !? it was honey coated so it actually tasted like meat. ) we had a really great time. jason was being the joker of the family and teasing us and momsie. whereas for jaw and me, we were catching up on things that revolve around us and thawat was just serving us food :o) i miss all, truly.
thaaat day i will remember.
AND LITTLE PING PING TO MAKE MY DAY !!! OWH I MISS THAILAND :'o( sniff sniff.
i will study hard and kick all play aside becos i wanna go back to thailand and live life like the queenest of all queens and just be, i'm like a bird, i long to fly away, i don't know where my home is ~~~~ yeh, i will be like a bird. chirp chirp.
