belated pics found !!!!!

ok don't ask me how but i was DJ jumping via facebook when i came upon DJ Inquisitive's. idk how it lead me to his Snooze photo album. i was just scrolling through his pictures and when i saw the feathers and pillows i was like dannnnngggggggg looks familiar !!!! so scroll scroll and came upon our pictures !!!!! i love it a lot cos of the colors !!!!! in fact, i love them so much i'm making them xtra xtra large HA HA. dont mind the boobies. i was half drunk ~..~

im actually really sleepy now it's 10 more minits to 6 in da morning *____*

my ultimatum favorite

guys ( self entry. )

sometimes ( now. ) i read back at my old entries and i just wanna laugh out so loudly at my foolish self.

i don't know the true meaning of love and i don't plan on it any time soon. all the emotional posts i did were mere words triggered by sad thoughts that i hallucinated on. honestly, the way i describe it, you gotta divide it by 5 to get the result of how i really feel : not much.

true i do bruise and hurt like a little red apple, but i honestly recover from it completely. i snap back immediately and i will  start looking for new preys the next minute LOL. honest to god, the person i have ever " loved. " was in primary school, a total of 9 years ago. i crushed over him really badly for close to a total of 2 years. idk where the fuck i got all the courage from but i wrote him letters and texted him daily LOL. he was a senior. i was 2 years younger.

the " love. " i gave him in those two years must have taken up all the love i can ever afford for anyone else because i haven't felt the way i did to him as i do to others now.

in this year 2012,

the only 2 guys that made me a little affected def gotta be R n M. but it was short lived. i mourned for like 2 days ???? 2 days over M, a little longer over R. a week i think. now im just peaceful like a ball. bad analogy but yeah. seriously. when i think about my romantic future, all i see is a sharply defined huge ass void. there is no romance in the air, no laughing faces in the frame, and definitely no heartbeats uniting in 1.

 back then all i could ever think of was love. i survived on it. i lived in it. i dreamt upon it and i bathed myself in it. but the current me is disgusted with it, just wanna detach herself away from the sticky situation and run the hell away from it as far as her non-existant romance allow her. i honestly don't think there is such a thing as true love. either never or till i am an old little woman sitting on her rocking chair.

i forgot about D. what i feel towards him is also a complicated pile of messy spaghetti. true i dont like him with my heart. i like what he does to me outside of it. he's just like a kid, a free little spirit that makes me feel comfortable yet more like a mother to him than anything. he's gotta be the first guy. no wait, he IS the first guy i've ever said i miss you to. ha ha ha. thats A LOT coming from a person who doesn't do all those shit. and well. i like kissing him. non sensual fact.

i like good kissers, tall men with facial hair and one with a cute laugh.

thats just 3 different qualities of them that i've planted into a non-existant one lol screw me