o manz !!! cant i just hav a tiny miny inch of megan fox pretti pls ?????? (o*__*o)
she's bloody sxc aaarghz.
im damn sure ppl watch jennifer's body just 2 gorge @ her lor.
ha ha ha ha ha.
e guys in e theatre were oooohin n aaaaahin @ her smexy scenes lol. i wuldnt b surprized if i had 2 waddle my way outta e theatre in e pool of saliva. he he.

anyway. the show's ok, nothin grand about e story line but 4 those who need a role model 2 work 2wards 2,
this show shuld b watched. no need 2 r8 e movie. just look at megan. n wish. n wish , n wish still . . .
ha ha ha.

anywayz ! my sleepin pattern's been goin haywire againz. i've been sleepin @ 4 in e mornin cos i'll b BZ playin snakes on mi fone !!
aaaghz.
havent played 4 quite awhile n im still stuck at lvl 22, e stupid circuit lvl -.-
bloody snake just refuse 2 stop banging on e wall n the stupid timer keeps explodin on me -.-
tho im proud 2 b the numero uno on e high score list. ha ha ha. isnt it funny. im competing w myself -.-
but to those who play Nokia Snakes thats's developed by IOMO studio, my highest score is 580,945 leh !!!!
ha ha ha ha, n this high score was ahieved only since 2 measly nights ago ok. ^__^

speakin of games, ive been dyin 2 play SIMS. i read jas's games megazine n just by lookin at ah. HAIZZZZZZ.

anyway. ive been thinkin. i think m gna get a gamin laptop next. i wanted 1 w good memory space, sound system n wide screen last time cos i'd be up bloggin more than half e day but now its different.
i dont blog s often s i used 2.
im goin 2 be up playin games instead.
ive quit playin RC in facebk cos this comp is 2 laggy. guardian said he got this desktop thats not too quick in motion to capture games or wotsoev e right technical term it is. point is, he siad he didnt wna get a 2 fab comp 4 gamin cos then jas'd b up all night n day gamin away . .

anyway. ive been survivin in e 5th world country recently. everything is dyin on mi.
my fone's spoilt 2 e xtend of neglectance.
my camera's battery is acting crazy.
KK's MP4 cant function properly ( she's loaned it 2 me since last yr.) overall, i need a technical replenish. errr. whatev tt means -.-
but sounds quite cool i must admit.
HA HA HA HA !!
TECHNICAL REPLENISHO ~!

ok.
i need a new fone. but i dont kno which. 2 many ppl r usin ifone n the E-Nseries fones. i want a sidekick but i need to go all the way to america 2 get it -.-
which is rather impossible -.-
then there's this fone that came out like when i was in p5-6 ?? the business-style fone by nokia. the goldie slide. slim slim one. also metallic. cold cold one.
back then it was 1k plus but now i dnno how much it costs.
but the flipside is :
i dont think it has a gd camera n sound quality. arghz. i dont kno how 2 choose. KK said e latest N97 mini is pretty cool. it's sort of like e sidekick i want but i feel the " push factor " is 2 hardcore. like a fake fone like that. the sliding-pushing thingamajig isnt v smooth like how i want mine 2 be . . .
i know i kno.
my technical terms are so profound u need 2 consult ur
" Crazy-Dumb-Tweet Teachician Dicktionary. "
-.-

sign. . . . if only i knew Mr Nokia. he'd design a fone 4 me . . now how cool wuld that be hmm ?
*__*
wishful thinkings aside, yipee yoop yoop !!!
O's ending soon ~!!!!!!!
weeeeeeeee ~~~~~

dear Jesus, thank you.
my mother is well now :o)
her health check-ups including a brain scan prove positive. she's well now even her voice sounded chirpy ^_^
she's so well now tt in fact, she was climbing a moutain last night when she called me -.-
HA HA HA HA.



i think my mom is like me when she was younger. doesnt bother 2 do anything including talkin when we're sick but once we're well,
zoooooooooom ~! we can b so xtreme -.-

oki. im happy cos she's happy. my family's like so dispersed. like the pollen n flower thingamajig. o !! i remember jason readin 2 me his science notes.
" flaura and fauna. "
ha ha ha, watev tt means.
sounds flowerish. so.

mom bringin granny 2 tai wan 4 a hol.
jaw bro in myanmar preparin 4 his future.
jas fag in thailand mustering e courage 2 ask ploy out 4 a movie.
me in singapore smilin at herself foolishly thinkin abt her family. arghz.

ok. i wnat go alr lah. e longer i stay, e more rubbish i tend 2 spurt out zzzz.

PS,
jaw, if u r readin my blog, KK asks u 2 add her up in facebook !!! she can't seem 2 find ur profile.
donno why. but u r in my friend list. but e amazing thing is, u r like invisible 2 her. donno why :-O
anyway. she said 2 tell u ur pictures r nice :o)
n she misses hanging out tgt like e last time when we all went 2 penin 2 eat n e " draw tattoo " day ^^
hope 2 c u soon ~!!!

anyway. ive been reminded of u these few days. i might not even have noticed it until KK told me.
all along i was blinded 2 e brotherly-love u shower me w.
i thot it was just an action that doenst mean much . .
but now i think of it n i regret not cherishing e moments.

i remember u were always there 2 call me n ask me how ive been doin when we were seperated.
there u were in newton n here i was in toh yi. but u never failed 2 turn up everyday at 6.30pm 2 have dinner w me.
back then i was reluctant to go out but if time could rewine n give me another chance, i promose i wuld never have done something like that again. you were always there bringing chips and snacks for me everytime u met me. u even gave me money when u were tight w it urself.
thank you, gor. for being there endlessly without me knowing.
love u !!!! hope every thing will go well 4 u.

u may not kno it but mom loves u just e same as she loves me n jas.
in fact i think she dotes on u except u arent aware of it.
e last time i was in thailand w her,
she called u n scolded u without knowin e truth abt ur tuiton fee ?
ya, u didnt spend e tuition fee but she thot u spent it so she was angry . . . . . but she did e mistake of not askin u first if u did.

so u 2 quarelled over it over e fone.
i was there bside her all along.
after u 2 hung up, her face was filled w so much pain i had 2 go 2 e toilet or else she'd kno ive been crying.
but e thing u didnt c was, she was havin this xpression i ave never seen her have b4 in my life.
she then stuttered. " ha .. . ha. ge ge mei you na na ge qian. "
i culd only mutter an " Orh. "
cos what else culd i say . .. i didnt kno where 2 think.

she then called u back n passed me e fone,
askin me 2 ask u if u wanted anythin from thailand cos u were there all alone in myanmar. but e thing is, u didnt know mom was so regretful of her outburst she thot she culd aplogize by buying u things that u liked so you n her could end e cold war n wished that bad confrontation had nvr occured . . . but u were furious w her 4 not findin out e truth first. so u didnt want anything that's from her. u shouted those hurtful words about her so i had 2 once again, leave her room and walk out 2 e balcony tryin 2 shift my attention on e sky outside. e thing u didnt kno was, while i was still in her room talkin 2 u, she was looking at my expressions so intently, as tho she wants 2 make out what you were sayin.

when i came back 2 her, she looked up at me hopefully, w an uncertain smile on her face, asking me " na me. . ge ge yao shen me mah ? "
i culd only say " orh, ta shuo bu yao shen me le. "
she then asked " ta you jiang shen me mah ? mama yi wei shi ta na na ge qian qu yong . . qi shi ta mei you na. "
i said " orh. zhen de ah. ta mei jiang shen me. ta zhi shuo ta dong xi dou gou le. "

if she knew u were still mad at her, im sure she wuldnt even b able 2 go 2 bed, let alone face herself in e mirror before she goes 2 bed.

everytime she's mad at u, im certain she's aching at the back of her, cryin and blamin herself for havin 2 scold u but all she wants is for u 2 go on e right path. all she wants is not 4 us 2 end up like dad.
n thats why she has 2 be strict when it comes 2 bad habits like smoking and drinking. she'd just collapse when she sees you, jason and i turn into crazy alcoholics n 24\7-drunkards.

she doesnt want me to be too pressurized in my work but i cant help feeling so lost and hopeless. it's like theres a part of me thats insufficient 2 reciprocate her love for us. i know ive been sayin i love her n i love her but i dont believe i LOVE her without some " proof. "

so here i am, wanting u 2 know that mother loves us.
it's just that e way she loves us is different from others.
she doesn't say " i love u my sweet children ! "
or kiss us on e foreheads 2 show her love.
the love she showers on us abundantly is hidden. it's like . .. it's like secret messages that have to be decoded by no one but ourselves.
if not, we're just gonna go on thinkin she's never loved us like how we hope she had.

i agree she's moody at times n she gets irritated by us at a single touch but those are her moments of anxiety when her business are goin downspiral. i myself also feel dejected eveytime shes like that but i told myself she's worried sick for one reason n one reason only.

she culdave just stopped all these mundane chores of guarding over her lands and let dad take em over but if she did,
we won't be where we are now . . gettin what we want easily with a snap of our fingers. she's doing all these extra worryings, adding wrinkles and age that does so much 2 her face just for US. she doesnt want us to be abandoned by people that are always waiting for her to fail and collapse . . she doesnt want us to be alone when none of our kins are left in this world . . . when we are old and she is gone . . if she stopped workin, we won't get e cahnce to study abroad. we'd end up like ah-san-jiu, leadin life aimlessly. without any respect from people.

the thing is, she wants us to succeed and be looked up and admired by dad's people. esp his loser-family. even when dad is acting like a complete bastard, she doesnt want us to stop loving him because she doesnt want us to lack e father-figure in our lives. she doesnt want us to feel we are fatherless. she's even asked us to support him when he's old and penniless. which try as i might, will never be done sincerely becos i will never 4give u win han n that mother-fucking whore and their bunch of cunt-faced children that's robbed us off of our family-ties.

when i first told her about my prom night this year, the first thing that escaped her mouth was,
" hhhhhhheegh ( e sign mama always uses :o) ) kan mah. ru guo gorgor hai zai singapore du shu ne hua, ta ye shi kor yi ke chang jia ne ah... "

anyway. i guess this is all for my emotional rantings.
i hope you are well and dont forget to be reminded that behind all the beautiful sceneries, there's a little butterfly thats always hovering above at the distant,
guarding over the flowers, the grasses and you.
the butterfly is us, gor.
we love you.
ok, that might be an odd example but still . . . :o)
i hope u r well. please update your journal becos i always read ur entries :o) i never fail to. :o)