MSN.

becos im akittle drunk tonihgt and i cant get conncected to twitter. the wedding tonght ws aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayhmazing. they had a bottle of chivas each, i literally drank ahdl of it. making me a little ti[sy tongh gotta fisnihe typing and get back to momayyy. i miss u MSn. i really do. if omnly i dculd change whatever that u didnt like AKA  my fucking fats., le sigh. i miss u. other than that, i miss u too D but seems like uve got someone new in ur life now im less worried. she loves u. go take care of her. sometimes i honestly wonder if anyone esle really likfe me as much as i them. or am i as underserving of love as a fly ?

alright im writing again BECAZ i have fallen ill :-\

anw. here's to abrupt endings. gotta head to the salon now i have a wedding to attend to tomorrow. speaking of which, i have found a muse back here in burma. he's a married man with a kid fuck my fucking life.

,,,

HOLAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!

wo de tian, it's been bloody forever since i did an entry !!!!! im currently back in my hometown, a beautifully boring state called the shan state aka taunggyi. i've been back here for almost a week now, but the internet at home was down until now. anw. sad shit is i cant get back for my party december in singapore :'-( initial plan of flying back yesterday at 1130am was dashed with the cruel reality. i will only be back next year february zzz. hope i get to go to the beach at least. walan. the keyboard at this internet cafe sibei hard. so difficult to punch. type 1 also need dunno how many muscles to work.

i have reached the maximum of my weight, the fattest i have ever been. i anounce to the beautiful wolrd that i am now a blot of 67KG worth of flabby meat. i will be 60 by jan and come feb, i will be 58. and that's all i wil ever be. joycy hon is not cut for skinny so 58 will be nice. or at most a 55. pray i still have boobs.

anw. interent heres a bloody slow. sigh. if only i could get into this intake i couldave had zoukout, xmas, ny countdown, birthday and everything i have never celelbrated in SG. oh well. such is life. lan lan lor. yes. i still do think about him call me crazy and everything u want but teehee. i was trying to sound like a broen herated girl LOL.

walan. this keyboard deserves a flying kick. i miss whatsapping. i miss so many things. i have been staying away from alcohol ( except beer. myanmar beer is the god. ) for almost a month now ( wow. i have been back for a month alr !??? or 3 weeks !??? ) bloody alcohol here is fucking cheap !!!!!!! johnnie walker darling and i reunite !!!!!!! blue label also sibei cheap. my fave drinks r defo beer, blue, double black, black... and thats it. no vodka pls thank u. anw. i need to stop takng about alcohol lest i sound like an alcoholic. woooooowods,sa,a.,.dskadnkasmdkmf weg rweigjeri i hate this keyboard. wnana go home liao bb.

joucu hon, never again. all u get is dissapoinfments. u shouldave learnt ur leasson by now. no one ever cares. suck it up and fucjing don't do it again.

belated pics found !!!!!

ok don't ask me how but i was DJ jumping via facebook when i came upon DJ Inquisitive's. idk how it lead me to his Snooze photo album. i was just scrolling through his pictures and when i saw the feathers and pillows i was like dannnnngggggggg looks familiar !!!! so scroll scroll and came upon our pictures !!!!! i love it a lot cos of the colors !!!!! in fact, i love them so much i'm making them xtra xtra large HA HA. dont mind the boobies. i was half drunk ~..~

im actually really sleepy now it's 10 more minits to 6 in da morning *____*

my ultimatum favorite

guys ( self entry. )

sometimes ( now. ) i read back at my old entries and i just wanna laugh out so loudly at my foolish self.

i don't know the true meaning of love and i don't plan on it any time soon. all the emotional posts i did were mere words triggered by sad thoughts that i hallucinated on. honestly, the way i describe it, you gotta divide it by 5 to get the result of how i really feel : not much.

true i do bruise and hurt like a little red apple, but i honestly recover from it completely. i snap back immediately and i will  start looking for new preys the next minute LOL. honest to god, the person i have ever " loved. " was in primary school, a total of 9 years ago. i crushed over him really badly for close to a total of 2 years. idk where the fuck i got all the courage from but i wrote him letters and texted him daily LOL. he was a senior. i was 2 years younger.

the " love. " i gave him in those two years must have taken up all the love i can ever afford for anyone else because i haven't felt the way i did to him as i do to others now.

in this year 2012,

the only 2 guys that made me a little affected def gotta be R n M. but it was short lived. i mourned for like 2 days ???? 2 days over M, a little longer over R. a week i think. now im just peaceful like a ball. bad analogy but yeah. seriously. when i think about my romantic future, all i see is a sharply defined huge ass void. there is no romance in the air, no laughing faces in the frame, and definitely no heartbeats uniting in 1.

 back then all i could ever think of was love. i survived on it. i lived in it. i dreamt upon it and i bathed myself in it. but the current me is disgusted with it, just wanna detach herself away from the sticky situation and run the hell away from it as far as her non-existant romance allow her. i honestly don't think there is such a thing as true love. either never or till i am an old little woman sitting on her rocking chair.

i forgot about D. what i feel towards him is also a complicated pile of messy spaghetti. true i dont like him with my heart. i like what he does to me outside of it. he's just like a kid, a free little spirit that makes me feel comfortable yet more like a mother to him than anything. he's gotta be the first guy. no wait, he IS the first guy i've ever said i miss you to. ha ha ha. thats A LOT coming from a person who doesn't do all those shit. and well. i like kissing him. non sensual fact.

i like good kissers, tall men with facial hair and one with a cute laugh.

thats just 3 different qualities of them that i've planted into a non-existant one lol screw me

gritty BnW

at a glance.

i have gained a tonne of weight,

my air-con has broken down,

 my eye-liner is getting darker for work,

my life is a mess. i love lana del ray ( blue jeans. ) .

aaah yes im finally heading back to work cos my life is that boring.

u know what. it actually hurts.

M.

another C and R case. walkin' around with a bruised heart and every little thoughts that come across ur mind just trigger the pain and ur vision starts getting blurry and before u know it, ur aching heart constricts and u feel the wetness on ur face.

it's been ages and i know im gonna hurt for a day. but tomorrow, i bounce back stronger.

in the end, you're just the same as every other guy.

abcd

i know it's time i admit i have to let go but here i am holding on so tight hoping, no matter how slight, for it to turn out the way the movies do. always ending happily.

but who the fuck am i kidding. we don't have any shared interests, i want it but i dont wanna work for it.

i honestly don't understand myself sometimes. im only interested when the other loses interest. and when they are still wrapped in the interest, i get so sick of their attention i just throw them away. and when they are gone finally, i start seeing their good and start wishing things would go back the way they were.

ugh. now that im so near him, im literally losing interest. how i hope things would go back to the way it was when we were miles apart.

simple and sweet.

now it's just angry and boring.

sometimes i just wish my mind would stfu

central flood n sukishi n pepper lunch n kinect

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forgot the date. thai food, karaoke, pool and home to poor plants in the rain.

 my food shots are really bad evidently -..-

i was too hungry i didn't bother finding the angles n whatnots. gotta be patient and learn to snap them with the love u chew them honey !!!!

x