BYE !!!!!
im terribly L8.
The Writer.
InstaJOYZ
My latest obsession yo.
Sky Diving !!!!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Memory lane for self.
you know what ? as much as i want to say i am ok, truth remains, i am affected.
it really is true how they say you aint know what you got till it's gone. both nigel and colin have spent so much of their time on me un-selfishly accompanying me till dawn breaks and just before i got to return them my gratitude, they have both been rudely snatched away from me.
the last week we spent together were fun. tho i can't recall exactly what we did. all i know were we ate and played and ate and walked. i really am touched by the way they somehow took care of me when i was sick.
it was already past 10pm and i was at marina with nigel n janelle playing pool ( i was basically just sleeping on the chair. too bloody tired. ) colin texted and asked if i'd seen a doctor and i was like no, is there any 24h clinic around bukit timah. i don't know if it's real or what but he went out of his house and searched for a clinic that opens till midnight. that was the first time i was so touched by colin.
IDK man. IDK if it was the emotions that play on people when they are sick or what but i WAS touched. anyway. so both nigel n colin accompanied me to the doc's. i wanted to go home after that but nigel insisted i had something to eat before i had my medicines. i was all it's ok blah blah i can get some bread from 7-11 yadee deedah but his insistence won. now that i think back, i know why i am so emotional with these 2 guys.
it's always been me, me and me when it comes to anything and everything. i am always the one looking out and after people. i consider myself a mother hen over my friends. but when it was nigel that was taking care and looking out for me, i felt........ weird. like fresh. like oh..... someone's looking out for me. like. IDK. no one has looked out for me in like what, ever. and so that day i was like a fucking baby eating my porridge while the guys talked. i fell asleep half-way listening. they woke me up and said it's time to go home. we'd usually go play pool and CS after eating but that day the boys walked me home. making me even more touched than i already was.
it's the subtle things that make me really emotional. like i was walking really slowly while crossing the road ( no energy. ) when all of a sudden, nigel turned back and pulled me away from the road cos they was an incoming car. fuck sia. typing this just made my nose sting and eyes watery. like i said all these things are so minor but i am wimping cos i am always the person doing all those to others but nigel was the first one to do it to me thats why i am touched. i always consider myself as a big sister, never the one to be taken care of thats why i am so emotional like a loser now. anyway. nigel'd turn back and ask me if i am ok cos i was walking so slow like a snail.
after they got me home nigel gave me a hug and told me to drink plenty of water cos i had to pass the toxics out. im really really appreciative of nigel and colin. they really really mean a lot to me even though it took me so long to realize.
now that i think back, nigel already told me he expected the worst and told me to take care cos he loves me as a friend. and i really do love him as a friend. damn. i really miss him. and it's not like i meet him every minute when he was here but now i really miss him. fuck the tears bloody hell. fuck. i love nigel !!!! as a friend, a really good friend. he even brought me dumplings to eat the day before dumpling festival. he even cut it for me. i just can't get rid of the last look in his eyes. the way he turned back and the sorrow in his eyes.
as for colin. i don't know him thaaaaat well but now that i sit down and think about it, he has been there for me every time i ton out. don't know if thats how u spell it or whatev. everytime i stay out, he will come and meet us and just stay with us. and mind u, i never do anything interesting. im always eating and just sitting, wasting time away. really. i still remember the first time ( i think ?? ) he stayed out with me and shariff. both of them accompanied me out from McSpicy to Mc breakfast and then to cold storage cos i wanted to work there. idk man. i cant out it in words. it's the subtle things that touch me.
anyway. i love both of them the way they are, whatever they did were done before i knew them and from what i know them of now, they arent what they have been.
pardon my english. damn rough. havent read or wrote in ages.
i have to get used to life without them now. no more seeing nigel in school, no more texting colin. no more killing and getting killed by colin in CS, no more life lessons from nigel. no more subway with nigel, no more good night texts from colin. no more of everything they do for a long while, joycy honey, you can do it. just be strong like you always have been and dont cry. dont crumble, dont fall.
it'll all be over and we can all go back to the way things used to be.
im really really glad i made that first move to talk to nigel when he came to class.
and im really really glad i didn't shun away from colin like how i would if other guys texted me too much.
im just really glad i got the chance to know these 2 fine men.
it really is true how they say you aint know what you got till it's gone. both nigel and colin have spent so much of their time on me un-selfishly accompanying me till dawn breaks and just before i got to return them my gratitude, they have both been rudely snatched away from me.
the last week we spent together were fun. tho i can't recall exactly what we did. all i know were we ate and played and ate and walked. i really am touched by the way they somehow took care of me when i was sick.
it was already past 10pm and i was at marina with nigel n janelle playing pool ( i was basically just sleeping on the chair. too bloody tired. ) colin texted and asked if i'd seen a doctor and i was like no, is there any 24h clinic around bukit timah. i don't know if it's real or what but he went out of his house and searched for a clinic that opens till midnight. that was the first time i was so touched by colin.
IDK man. IDK if it was the emotions that play on people when they are sick or what but i WAS touched. anyway. so both nigel n colin accompanied me to the doc's. i wanted to go home after that but nigel insisted i had something to eat before i had my medicines. i was all it's ok blah blah i can get some bread from 7-11 yadee deedah but his insistence won. now that i think back, i know why i am so emotional with these 2 guys.
it's always been me, me and me when it comes to anything and everything. i am always the one looking out and after people. i consider myself a mother hen over my friends. but when it was nigel that was taking care and looking out for me, i felt........ weird. like fresh. like oh..... someone's looking out for me. like. IDK. no one has looked out for me in like what, ever. and so that day i was like a fucking baby eating my porridge while the guys talked. i fell asleep half-way listening. they woke me up and said it's time to go home. we'd usually go play pool and CS after eating but that day the boys walked me home. making me even more touched than i already was.
it's the subtle things that make me really emotional. like i was walking really slowly while crossing the road ( no energy. ) when all of a sudden, nigel turned back and pulled me away from the road cos they was an incoming car. fuck sia. typing this just made my nose sting and eyes watery. like i said all these things are so minor but i am wimping cos i am always the person doing all those to others but nigel was the first one to do it to me thats why i am touched. i always consider myself as a big sister, never the one to be taken care of thats why i am so emotional like a loser now. anyway. nigel'd turn back and ask me if i am ok cos i was walking so slow like a snail.
after they got me home nigel gave me a hug and told me to drink plenty of water cos i had to pass the toxics out. im really really appreciative of nigel and colin. they really really mean a lot to me even though it took me so long to realize.
now that i think back, nigel already told me he expected the worst and told me to take care cos he loves me as a friend. and i really do love him as a friend. damn. i really miss him. and it's not like i meet him every minute when he was here but now i really miss him. fuck the tears bloody hell. fuck. i love nigel !!!! as a friend, a really good friend. he even brought me dumplings to eat the day before dumpling festival. he even cut it for me. i just can't get rid of the last look in his eyes. the way he turned back and the sorrow in his eyes.
as for colin. i don't know him thaaaaat well but now that i sit down and think about it, he has been there for me every time i ton out. don't know if thats how u spell it or whatev. everytime i stay out, he will come and meet us and just stay with us. and mind u, i never do anything interesting. im always eating and just sitting, wasting time away. really. i still remember the first time ( i think ?? ) he stayed out with me and shariff. both of them accompanied me out from McSpicy to Mc breakfast and then to cold storage cos i wanted to work there. idk man. i cant out it in words. it's the subtle things that touch me.
anyway. i love both of them the way they are, whatever they did were done before i knew them and from what i know them of now, they arent what they have been.
pardon my english. damn rough. havent read or wrote in ages.
i have to get used to life without them now. no more seeing nigel in school, no more texting colin. no more killing and getting killed by colin in CS, no more life lessons from nigel. no more subway with nigel, no more good night texts from colin. no more of everything they do for a long while, joycy honey, you can do it. just be strong like you always have been and dont cry. dont crumble, dont fall.
it'll all be over and we can all go back to the way things used to be.
im really really glad i made that first move to talk to nigel when he came to class.
and im really really glad i didn't shun away from colin like how i would if other guys texted me too much.
im just really glad i got the chance to know these 2 fine men.
Friday, June 22, 2012
ok hi. it's been tooooooo long since i last did an entry. current me sittin in the living room ( if it's even called one -..- ) drinking my 3rd glass of warm water -..- oh wait. the smiley should be changed to ^__^
being sick seriously sucks. i don't even recognize myself. i am sofa king weak and i get tired really really easily. even as im typing this my eye lids are like half drooping already -..-
nothin new to UPD8 on. just a quick entry to keep my archives full :-P
i think im gonna be fired soon i swear. i started work 2 weeks ago ( i think. ) but i've only went diligently for 2 days. i was supposed to work the whole of this week but look where im getting now ?
oh fuck. my eyes really going to die. gonna stop typing. bye. will UPD8 when im well and eating Mc ;-)
being sick seriously sucks. i don't even recognize myself. i am sofa king weak and i get tired really really easily. even as im typing this my eye lids are like half drooping already -..-
nothin new to UPD8 on. just a quick entry to keep my archives full :-P
i think im gonna be fired soon i swear. i started work 2 weeks ago ( i think. ) but i've only went diligently for 2 days. i was supposed to work the whole of this week but look where im getting now ?
oh fuck. my eyes really going to die. gonna stop typing. bye. will UPD8 when im well and eating Mc ;-)
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Work.
well ola !!!!!!
first day of work - done.
it is now 4.08am and i am finally home resting my aching feet. wearing shoes is fucking anal i tell u ! i thought there was gonna be better grip and cushionings but bloody hell was i wrong -..-
my toes are all squashed and the lousy shoes that i got's made up of cloth so thin, so uncomfortable my dying feet is dying now :'-( gonna have to invest in Dr Martens boots alr.
ANW !! complaints aside, my first day was funnn !! nothin much happened except there was a UWC event so they pretty much booked the whole of the outdoor dining area. no bloody wonder they r fucking rich. jase wanted to enroll in there at the beginning but the school fees is gold bars i tell u.
ANW ! it's pretty fun standing there and watching them get high LOL. when you are the one on alcohol, u think u r ok. thats what i always tell myself lah. but through the lens of a perfectly non-alcoholed pair of eyes, it is all so funny. like the way their hands start shaking and gettin wobbly they can't aim straight at their drinks and all the subtle things lah ha ha ha.
the manager was asking me to smile more cos apparently " she got nice smile what when she smile very nice what right ! " i AM a naturally smiley person. im happy even when im not smiling ! most would think i'm a kid with an attitude problem when i dont smile but trust me. i'm the world's friendliest bear all fuzzy and muzzy inside hehehehehe.
they were like saying i don't look like this is my first time working ever cos i pick up skills fast ( and i am not shy. in fact, they said i am shameless. hardworking ( ahem !! ) and cute. HA HA HA HA. no lah. the cute i add in myself. ) why of cos !! FnB is my passion ;-) ) and they thought i'd been in the FnB line for centuries long trololol. not their exact words lah. ha ha ha.
the sad thing was. no. not a sad thing, really. the emotional. wait, i cant find the right word to express meself. i was a little emotional when i was having my break standing and shoving food down my mouth. the feeling was..... new. and a little saddening. ha ha ha ha i was like. dangggg what have i gotten myself into. im not used to that kinda feeling yet. but im over it now. it's fun TBH. instead of sitting down and having food slowly, im doing it in the pantry standing up and eating noodles that tasted like bloody rubber bands -..-
work ends at 1am but we only leave at 2 le sighhhhhh. clubbing days are def gone fo good. there's a free transport back home so it's cool.
-
life.
im in one of those moments where i feel lost and emotionless now while greedily eating my Snakes ( my all time fave LOL. ) niway. as i was saying. i thought my " friends. " were my friends.
just so u know, i accept people easily. and i shamelessly admit i am a kind girl who helps people out every-time i can. but this kindness is slowly running shallow.
people are always asking me to help them monetarily and i did help them without so much as a blinking of an eye. but nad the biatch has been helping my heart turn cold towards all these jerks. ( which i am really thankful for. )
the latest most disappointing case is of... let's call him Z. i thought i could keep him as a friend but thank god i severed all contacts with him. one thing for sure. like nad said, if u ain't got no money, then bye. no story to be continued. u are a fucking guy. shameless asking girls to lend u cash.
and like what i say, i don't give a flying fuck if u are rich. so what ? everyone IS rich. it just depends on if u r WILLING to spend the cash ON ME. yeah. no lah. this aint a bf\gf thing. and just so you know, all these guys im referring to are purely friends. dont think too far. if they are my bf, pls lah. crawl back into you mother's vagina. dig for pancreas, sell to china. then come back to me trololol. but seriously. it really turns me off when guys are cashless and have to depend on their female counterparts. if u r a close friend, it is perfectly ok. but when u r just an acquaintance ? er-bloody-ew.
anyway !!!!!
i've realized my blogging style is gone. when i blog now im either complaining or ranting or both um. they both mean the same thing is it !??? ha ha ha ha ha. ok nvm. anyway !!! i've made plans to meet bimbi tmr. been too long since i last saw her. gotta catch up.
i miss work.
first day of work - done.
it is now 4.08am and i am finally home resting my aching feet. wearing shoes is fucking anal i tell u ! i thought there was gonna be better grip and cushionings but bloody hell was i wrong -..-
my toes are all squashed and the lousy shoes that i got's made up of cloth so thin, so uncomfortable my dying feet is dying now :'-( gonna have to invest in Dr Martens boots alr.
ANW !! complaints aside, my first day was funnn !! nothin much happened except there was a UWC event so they pretty much booked the whole of the outdoor dining area. no bloody wonder they r fucking rich. jase wanted to enroll in there at the beginning but the school fees is gold bars i tell u.
ANW ! it's pretty fun standing there and watching them get high LOL. when you are the one on alcohol, u think u r ok. thats what i always tell myself lah. but through the lens of a perfectly non-alcoholed pair of eyes, it is all so funny. like the way their hands start shaking and gettin wobbly they can't aim straight at their drinks and all the subtle things lah ha ha ha.
the manager was asking me to smile more cos apparently " she got nice smile what when she smile very nice what right ! " i AM a naturally smiley person. im happy even when im not smiling ! most would think i'm a kid with an attitude problem when i dont smile but trust me. i'm the world's friendliest bear all fuzzy and muzzy inside hehehehehe.
they were like saying i don't look like this is my first time working ever cos i pick up skills fast ( and i am not shy. in fact, they said i am shameless. hardworking ( ahem !! ) and cute. HA HA HA HA. no lah. the cute i add in myself. ) why of cos !! FnB is my passion ;-) ) and they thought i'd been in the FnB line for centuries long trololol. not their exact words lah. ha ha ha.
the sad thing was. no. not a sad thing, really. the emotional. wait, i cant find the right word to express meself. i was a little emotional when i was having my break standing and shoving food down my mouth. the feeling was..... new. and a little saddening. ha ha ha ha i was like. dangggg what have i gotten myself into. im not used to that kinda feeling yet. but im over it now. it's fun TBH. instead of sitting down and having food slowly, im doing it in the pantry standing up and eating noodles that tasted like bloody rubber bands -..-
work ends at 1am but we only leave at 2 le sighhhhhh. clubbing days are def gone fo good. there's a free transport back home so it's cool.
-
life.
im in one of those moments where i feel lost and emotionless now while greedily eating my Snakes ( my all time fave LOL. ) niway. as i was saying. i thought my " friends. " were my friends.
just so u know, i accept people easily. and i shamelessly admit i am a kind girl who helps people out every-time i can. but this kindness is slowly running shallow.
people are always asking me to help them monetarily and i did help them without so much as a blinking of an eye. but nad the biatch has been helping my heart turn cold towards all these jerks. ( which i am really thankful for. )
the latest most disappointing case is of... let's call him Z. i thought i could keep him as a friend but thank god i severed all contacts with him. one thing for sure. like nad said, if u ain't got no money, then bye. no story to be continued. u are a fucking guy. shameless asking girls to lend u cash.
and like what i say, i don't give a flying fuck if u are rich. so what ? everyone IS rich. it just depends on if u r WILLING to spend the cash ON ME. yeah. no lah. this aint a bf\gf thing. and just so you know, all these guys im referring to are purely friends. dont think too far. if they are my bf, pls lah. crawl back into you mother's vagina. dig for pancreas, sell to china. then come back to me trololol. but seriously. it really turns me off when guys are cashless and have to depend on their female counterparts. if u r a close friend, it is perfectly ok. but when u r just an acquaintance ? er-bloody-ew.
anyway !!!!!
i've realized my blogging style is gone. when i blog now im either complaining or ranting or both um. they both mean the same thing is it !??? ha ha ha ha ha. ok nvm. anyway !!! i've made plans to meet bimbi tmr. been too long since i last saw her. gotta catch up.
i miss work.
got all excited at finally wearing a shoe again.
and apparently bought the wrong pair of sox _I_
my first uniform !!!! ha ha ha, still thirsty ??? :-P
balancing health ~ ommmmm ~~
-
the pics i took the day i went in to fill in da application form.
a matured lookin face after i got the job !!! ha ha ha, thats bitch at the back. HEHEHEHEH. thanks for going with me you two !!!! nad was bloody tired that day but she still went with me for the interview <3 sniffs.
went to karaoke after that. nad was too tired to follow us.
came home to sexy nad sleeping like angelina jolie.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Time of daaaa month !!!!
Ok I think it was cos of the chocolates I fucking had last night that caused the bloodfall ( waterfall. bloodfall...... geddit ??? ) and I'm trying to be healthy by eating bananas first before anything else and yadee deedah, just wanted to check if it was ok ( scared suddenly bloody never fall alr. ) when I chanced upon this. Bloody useful !!!! Must eat grains and protein and calcium. Meaning ??? KFC and Subway are both fine !!!! Cheese fries got calcium somemore omg. And potato got complex carbo fuyeahhhhhh !!!! Okok. Gonna eat now bye bye v(^______^)v
Monday, June 11, 2012
long long one.
i have officially come to a sad realization.
all these while of laziness has caused me to lose out on so much of memories that can never be re-read back. this year has been really great but if only i had be diligent, i can go back on the emotions that i felt and laughters that i heard. fuck. it is now 11th of june. half a year of memories gone..
in january, i started a new term in SIM, made friends that i loved and stayed in bedok. in feb, i....... um. what did i do i can't remember. fuck fuck fuck. lemme think. i realized i fell in love with SIM probably ??? in march i went to zirca and fell in love with it ( mainly becos it was different from zouk and the people i went wiv were pretty ok. rohit, shafiqa, navin and a few of their friends. ) and then i went to vietnam with KK. fell in love with Mui Ne, made a few memories worth keeping, came back after a great getaway only to be blown into a sad phase ( family issues. ) and then in april i started a new term. i failed my sem 1 so i had to repeat. first day sucked. i missed my old friends so bloody bad. but then it got ok. started liking it. by may i was skipping classes and hardcore partying. by the end of june i was barred from exams due to bad attendance. and in june, which is now, i am having my holiday. in a pretty bad dilemma. should i change to MDIS cos there's where i can go for the course that i love or stay in SIM cos i love the school ? got into a job ( how many fucking times have i repeated this. ) fell in love with subway. oh wait. this should be in end may. got to know nigel more. quit going to the gym. and fuck. im gettin tired.
you know what tho ? i have just made another realization. there's no need to think back so hard on what happened. u've lived it. no point recalling. just live for tomorrow. and then start making new moments.
oh. and in feb ? i moved into bishan. got to live alone with ma bro. designed the apartment into what all my friends find comfortable. had house parties and drinking sessions. this shuld last throughout march-april. in early may ( i think. ) i had to leave bishan my beloved and move in to where i am now. that was one of the saddest day of my life. i thought i was used to moving but every time i have to leave, i still do feel torn. but the amazing thing about me is when i am sad/heart-broken, i let myself be. when i break, i really break. i don't even recognize myself. i go into a state so fucking bad i will just cry ( depends on how sad i am lah. ) but once i stop feeling sad ( the longest it goes, is only 1 day praise me. ) i really stop feeling sad. i will be so repaired i don't even remember i was sad. pretty neat me thinks.
anyway !!! it's only 7.35 in da mornin. subway's only gonna open at 10ish ??? me dunno if me shuld wait or go to bed. aaaaah. vai r ppl so healthy !????? while typing this bloody long entry, i have seen about 3 people swimming and an old man stretch. fuck lah. i need to live a healthier lifestyle. lazy.
i am fucking bored now fuck. my phone batt has completely drained. and i am fucking bored. and i am fucking bored. omg. bored.
ok. this shall be it. i will update more. one entry a day. with pictures. im too lazy to sync now cos i have like 7K pictures in my phone im not shitting. too bloody long to sync. bye.
all these while of laziness has caused me to lose out on so much of memories that can never be re-read back. this year has been really great but if only i had be diligent, i can go back on the emotions that i felt and laughters that i heard. fuck. it is now 11th of june. half a year of memories gone..
in january, i started a new term in SIM, made friends that i loved and stayed in bedok. in feb, i....... um. what did i do i can't remember. fuck fuck fuck. lemme think. i realized i fell in love with SIM probably ??? in march i went to zirca and fell in love with it ( mainly becos it was different from zouk and the people i went wiv were pretty ok. rohit, shafiqa, navin and a few of their friends. ) and then i went to vietnam with KK. fell in love with Mui Ne, made a few memories worth keeping, came back after a great getaway only to be blown into a sad phase ( family issues. ) and then in april i started a new term. i failed my sem 1 so i had to repeat. first day sucked. i missed my old friends so bloody bad. but then it got ok. started liking it. by may i was skipping classes and hardcore partying. by the end of june i was barred from exams due to bad attendance. and in june, which is now, i am having my holiday. in a pretty bad dilemma. should i change to MDIS cos there's where i can go for the course that i love or stay in SIM cos i love the school ? got into a job ( how many fucking times have i repeated this. ) fell in love with subway. oh wait. this should be in end may. got to know nigel more. quit going to the gym. and fuck. im gettin tired.
you know what tho ? i have just made another realization. there's no need to think back so hard on what happened. u've lived it. no point recalling. just live for tomorrow. and then start making new moments.
oh. and in feb ? i moved into bishan. got to live alone with ma bro. designed the apartment into what all my friends find comfortable. had house parties and drinking sessions. this shuld last throughout march-april. in early may ( i think. ) i had to leave bishan my beloved and move in to where i am now. that was one of the saddest day of my life. i thought i was used to moving but every time i have to leave, i still do feel torn. but the amazing thing about me is when i am sad/heart-broken, i let myself be. when i break, i really break. i don't even recognize myself. i go into a state so fucking bad i will just cry ( depends on how sad i am lah. ) but once i stop feeling sad ( the longest it goes, is only 1 day praise me. ) i really stop feeling sad. i will be so repaired i don't even remember i was sad. pretty neat me thinks.
anyway !!! it's only 7.35 in da mornin. subway's only gonna open at 10ish ??? me dunno if me shuld wait or go to bed. aaaaah. vai r ppl so healthy !????? while typing this bloody long entry, i have seen about 3 people swimming and an old man stretch. fuck lah. i need to live a healthier lifestyle. lazy.
i am fucking bored now fuck. my phone batt has completely drained. and i am fucking bored. and i am fucking bored. omg. bored.
ok. this shall be it. i will update more. one entry a day. with pictures. im too lazy to sync now cos i have like 7K pictures in my phone im not shitting. too bloody long to sync. bye.
hi hello namaste konichiwa sawadee !!! here's me sitting by the pool listening to Norah Jones while shariff n colin's fast asleep LOL. nothing much to update on except I've got a job !!!!!! ha ha ha ha yes joycy hon is finally gonna start working hip hip hooray ! this is my first job and I really love my workplace. I haven't started yet lah. first shift begins on Tuesday me iz veli veli excited. the sad thing is the ugly uniform. the place is really pretty but the uniform is just pure basic bleah. anyway. fuck. typin this is making me tired. my eyes wanna close alr. bye.
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