yaloha !

week21 and how we found out

it's been forever since I last touched blogger I know. well, thru this absence, I am now 21 weeks pregnant and 8 days away from my wedding ! 😂

being pregnant was never how I imagine it to be. I was envisioning a motherly endeavor to every of my motions but alas, I don't move like a pregnant woman at all ! ha ha ha, everyone's telling me to slow down, and that just by looking at me walk/move makes them very nervous 😂😂 I'm still the same old energetic joys. except I get these sharp aches on my lower left kidney area. KK mentioned that I'm starting to walk like a penguin now too ha ha ha !

pregnancy has been really easy for me so far. in the blink of a bladder, I am already almost over my second trimester. my first trimester wasn't too bad too ! I didn't vomit upon sights/thoughts of food. in fact, I ate like I normally did, except I had 2 big plates of rice instead of 1. i didnt even know I was preggers until I was 9weeks4days HA HA HA. I would say the only big giveaway was my swelling boobies. my boobies'd grow when I'm having my menses but after that it's just back to its original size. but for the fist 9 weeks of pregnancy, my boobies just remained big. the second giveaway would be I was always energy-less. I slept and slept so much but i still felt tired. and the last was I burped like nobody's business. I burped so much and I felt a little nausea sometimes but becos I never once puked, I rested my suspicion on stomach ache. I thought my stomach had finally had it with my irregular meals. but even still, I didn't go to the doc. ha ha !

one night joe and I bought a kit outta curiousity and it turned out positive ! ha ha ha, I was slightly happy. u know, like those fearful happy kind. joe was the same. but we decided to try another one the next week cos google told me results would be more accurate in the morning. so one fine morning, i popped one stick in and pop. i had faint lines aka yay ! i might not be pregnant but noon, I'm not pregnant ?? so i gave it all up, the idea of a possible pregnancy and continue leading my life the single way ha ha ha. we decided to visit the doctor only when we got to bangkok a few weeks later.

when we got to bangkok, we decided to get another kit and same as hell, i got revisited by one faint and one strong line so long grandma grandpa story short, we finally made an appointment at Bumrungrad Hospital and i went in all alone to talk to the doc at first. i forgot what i went for, some checkup and a pregnancy checkup. got asked to pee.. the works and when they called me in again, the pregnancy test kit was on the table with the doc assuring me " it's positive. "

!!!!!!!!! ?????? !!!! ##### !!!!!

my reaction and emotion right then. i was so shocked/happy/excited/scared that i wanted to cry but of cos, on the outside I'm just like " ohh.. " putting a nonchalant front on my own ha ha ha. i wanted so much for joe to be there to share my pressure HA HA HA, or pleasure. asked doc how old the baby is blah blah and that if I'm safe to fly cos i was leaving BKK in a few days' time. he then suggested i go thru ultrasound to see if the baby had a heartbeat and stuff. called joe in to the ultrasound and upon hearing the baby's heartbeat, omg we both wanted to cry man !!! it was so surreal. well, surreal it was cos my baby was al 9weeks4days !!!!!!! HA HA HA with a 160 heartbeat !!!!! i was already almost past first trimester !!!!! lololol

so yeah thats pretty much how we found out. my baby really is one strong baby. i did so much shit like drink and smoke and jump of the yacht and drink and smoke and had irregular meals and sat on plane so many times from YGN-SG, YGN-SG, SG-YGN, YGN-BKK and omggggg. my baby is still safe !!!!!

dank you darling !!!!

thoughts.

yoohoo !

alright. i've successfully spent the whole day to myself ( occupyied myself with cooking and playing games. ) joe has a new job somewhere which means i no longer have him as much as i'd like now. 1 year and 6 months later, he is officially leading the life i've always dreaded. 

back then, i had him everytime i opened my eyes, opened my arms and opened my mouth. but now, he'll be outta the house by 9.30am and the next time i get to see him will be 10+ more hours later :'-( and when he's back he'll be so drained he would be in bed by 1030 but i, being the selfish me, of cos, only let him sleep at 12am. we r now officially living the weekends-then-go-dating life which i really hate :'-( but i guess what u hate is usually what is good for u eh.

i know im really possesive of him and i have to change this bad nature of mine. but as u know, change is never easy. lately, i've come to the crystal clear realization that not everyone is perfect, based on real life experiences, 

1) u have the perfect happy family, but u lack money. 

2) u have an unlimited supply of money but u dont get the love from people u yearn most.

3) u have both the money and the love, but something literally lacks in u be it health or mental illness.

thus, i know i can never have it all with joe. if i want him all to myself, thus enriching the love factor, i will cause both of us to lose out in our money factor. i was talking to him the other day that i dont want our family to be distant. i want my kids to love both of us equally, to love both their grandmas equally, but that will not happen if joe is busy working and busy being absent in their lives. which is why we came up with the solution to work hard now so that by the time we have kids, he will pretty much be settled down and not be tooo absent in our kids' lives. in other words, we r laying the seeds. not the sex seeds lah. the money seeds ha ha ha.

i've alr had him for 1.5 years. it's time i let him go... let him goooooo, and have his own life. let him reconnect with his buddies and not worry about me. sometimes he dreads going out cos he knows i'd be bored stiff alone at home and that makes him pity me HA HA HA and really, everytime he leaves i feel so bloody sad like an unwanted puppy. but i've decided i want to be the supportive wife, instead of the stupid wife.

i now need to start living my life, start filling in the gaps where joe will no longer fill. i need to adapt to yangon, i need to start having a life here. i cannot keep blaming and defending myself with " this is not singapore. " ok. joe just texted me that he's coming home now. gonna go fold his clothes to make him feel happy. HA HA HA he's been pestering me to do his laundry for a week now but im JUZT ZO LAZY. really. i only need to unload everything into the machine but i am just that bloody lazy. sigh. need to do something bout that. i need to be efficient.

woke up to the 703am text. made me realize i havent always give him my best.

out at sea ~

well harlowwww !!!!!!

im officially ( gonna be XD ) back to my dear old rise and shine again.

typing on this ipad and tablet keyboard feels so... professional AND funny. ( funny imagining myself to be a pro ngeheh. ) the keyboard's a lil too small for my tatse. or rather, my fingers.

but anyhoo, the wifi's my biggest motivation now that it's finally, finally up at home. imma be a frequent flyer, oh scratch that, a frequent blogger now =P. type out my youths and my downs, becos time flies and imma be a mother soon ! nah, not coming back with a pregnancy news but u never know how time flies XD once the baby pops out, my blog's gonna be invaded with His Royal Cuteness so needa spam Her Royal Highness's chio face before that happens kekekkekeke. damn. typing these XD smileys feels so bloody limited. ha ha ha im so used to the emojis available on dayre.

anw. i've been back here in Yangon for almost 2 weeks now ! this year has been filled with sooo much travelling i honestly cant even remmeber anything about my trips.

my resolution was to make full use of my 2015 and work the fuck out at the gym but look where im at now ! all these travellings has left me with *gasp, no time for gym !!! yeah. who could ever imagine ME saying that HA HA HA. i have them most free time :'D but really. i spent my CNY over at Myeik w Mr AX's fam, and then to Ranong for a fam getaway, valentine's in Ngwe Saung with a couple of friends, Mandalay with KK and friends, then to BKK for dunno what, then YGN, then to HK and back to BKK, to YGN, to BKK, to SG, to YGN, to SG, and now, finally in YGN again -,,- with that much moving about, u'd've imagined me to have a gazillion pics but guess what. im no longer the pictures crazed girl i once was, the selfie queen i once was is now merely a... selfie princess. HA HA HA, ok lah.

becos i stopped blogging for sucha long time, i also stopped snaping that many pics, also lost my artistic side ( i choose to believe i had one ahem. ha ha ha. ) so i feel really eggcited to be back !!!!! cos that means more pics, more editing and more ranting ! whoop whoop ! i have even subbed to pic monkey for 1 year alr leh, thats how confident i am. how confident of taking hella pics and editing them and blogging them out. hehe. so. less talking. more pics...right?

ha ha ha, this time in SG, my momma gave me a chance i never thot wuld come that soon, honestly ! she booked a yacht but momma meeeeeyaaa !!! i havent diet lah ! zomg ! i was imagining myself as pitbull's girls but alas. i looked like pitbull T______T PS, i luv PB. ha ha, i find him really cute, esp his smile <3 __ <3

good view on top eh joe ;-} 

and heres to an abrupt end ! ha ha, wa. I'm having a headache now. my o my,  my head can't get around to editing and uploading and arranging all these pics. it's really been that long zomggggg. will work on a new entry tmr ~! bye-bye.

reconnected !!

OMBLOODYGOODNESS !!!!!!!!!

I'm back into my blogger again !!!!!!!! fml. why is it that when u want something done so badly, every lil thing try its best to prevent u from doing so. but when its something that needs done the least, boom ! bam ! voom ! u're in !!

lol. i was just trying to set up a new gmail account when i clicked the " sign in with a different account. " and boom. i got redirected to my old pjjworhx email ( which is linked to my blogger. ) so i tried typing blogger.com and boom ! I'm in my rise and shine account yo !!!!!! fuck me I'm so fucking happy. i stopped blogging here cos my mobile blogger for some reason stopped allowing me to upload pics. said media space is low or something along those lines. when i tried bloging from the computer, i couldn't log in cos i didn't have the infos to verify my account !! bloody nerve-wrecking i tell ya. i didn't wanna blog from mobile cos too many words with no pics aren't my thing. so i migrated to dayre. it treats me with love. but i hate having to edit my full-length pics to squares in order to upload them so i don't update regularly there either. also, we can't really forget about the annoying fact that myanamr's internet speed cannot be matched with those overseas eh. i will try to update some pics later. gotta go save and transfer and what nots. if only my bluetooth is working properly. another thing why blogging from comp is such a hassle. the transferring of pics. unlike from phone/app, everything is just a 'share' away.