Self entry #3.

why has a hopeless romantic stopped believing in love ?




all these 19 years i've waited. 


... yet the prince i have always coaxed myself asleep with never appears. even when i thought he did, he proved otherwise. year by year the lust of falling in love so poignant dispersed with time. even though there may be times i believed my prince was just a little shy, i blame him for being so.. though truth is, the problem lies with me--every problems romance could ever surface.--

i am a coward.

i'm afraid of falling hard. i'm afraid of the impossibilities. i'm afraid of reading too much into a mild situation--which i always do.-- and i am afraid i may not be the one he was looking for after all..


truth remains, i am a die-hard traditional. i want my prince to be the prince i grow old with, to be the prince who share EVERY single moments with me--be it tough or silly.-- , to be the prince who i wake up to, to be the prince i kiss good night to, to be the prince who my heart flutter wildly for, to be the prince who loves me more than i do him. fortunately or unfortunately, when you are as die-hard traditional as i am, you basically remain hopeful of the " right. " prince for the rest of your life.... and when none appears, you settle for a substitute.


what others' call my " expectations. " is just promises of security. this i've learnt through experiences. my " expectations. " are so high and unattainable it always act as a barrier to possible loves. if my great big ego were to have shrunk just an inch, i sometimes imagine myself living the romantic life with a temporary prince. where the world sees love so lightly. scratch that. the word is not love after all. the word is sex and relationships. the whole screw it and over with it just doesn't work on me. i am a hopeless romantic. every thing i want starts with hugs and ends with kisses and fireworks and palace and all the love in the world and passions and affections and what not.. these i say, are totally not out there. i rarely see these happening anyway !


anyway.


im sleepy.

im in a rush so i'll just leave u with e pics.. grace's arrivin at 6.45pm n i havent even started changing OR making up so BB !

was doin a paint last night ( at 1am. ) ..

i dont have $$$ le !!! so this was my breakfast :P i alr ate the rice roll so :P

my current addict. even tho im losin like crazy it's still a part of my schedule to deposit my $$$ in2 te vault 2 prevent other players from winnin em -..-

i was takin this pic when a van drove right beside me n we looked at each other and i was smiling like a fool ( cuz i was takin this pic. ) and had no time to react so awkward !!! thank god the pic turned out acceptable @.@

the embarraded me continued cam whoring but in a different direction from the van driver :P

do i count as a vampy cuz i " glitter. " under e sun as well ????? X__X

got tired after awhile.. ive gained alot of weight TYVM. hint : take a look at my double neck @.@

guess wot yes !!!! i got poked by the darn needle again !!!!

they thot it'd be fun to imprint me w a " watch. " darnit it was so painful !! esp the part where the tape was strongly glued to my skin..

nurse told me to look away from the needle in case i faint =.= like m i tt much of a weakling ?? sigh.....

ANW, i cant RMB if i've posted ystd's pics so here's one of me arriving early n eating my favorite favorite rice roll \ TW's sushi <3 i had a lot of time applying make up properly too ^^

 oyes. if u're curious, i was gettin my blood tested. i dont even know the type of my blood can u believe it !???

so ANW, im apparently an O =..=

 so pls remember, im O blooded. donate me some of ur Os when i'm in major crisis !!! like MENSE !????? HA HA HA !!!

 ok wat a weak attempt at jokin... au revoir !!!!!! ( pronounced " or-voir. " not or-re-vior. " ha ha ye i used to pronounced it tt way laugh at me.. )