-
hi. well i'm at home on a wednesday not schooling so ima gonna update this. anyways, as i was saying, i don't bother to bathe and change to tuition. i just wear my uniform straight for class ( and let tutor spell my armpits HA ! HA ! DUH NO. ) and i wouldn't even be asked why i haven't bathed. they'll take it as i am so ser-too-diuz. they'll " oh my ! lisa you're one busy school girl ! " ha ha ! wearing school unform will appear like you whole world revolves around texts. anyway, why i'm blogging about this is becos during chinese chan, WHICH WAS SURPOSED TO BE TOMORROW, i went at the wrong day and wron g time that belonged to this little emo style guy. ha ha ! omgoodness, today i was so blur when i left the room, i actually banged on the chair !!!!! not only that, my mind was so preorccupied with some random thoughts i actually said this to the driver.
" no not here. walk straight. "
HA HA ! WALK MAN. anyway, this morning, i was in 61 on the way to school and i learnt that i appreciate big sized guys who put in the effort to smell good. not good as in spray the whole of nivea ( lousy smell for guys, really. so strong !!!! i think i stand at the end of the east and you stand at the end of west big wind come i can still smell. ) but just a simple sweet smell. ye. but anyway, issac nathan is in crisis is just, well, i'd rather not blog about it so ciao !
-
wait, after some considerations, i have decided to blog about it cos even though i've wrote on my journal, i realized that inks can fade one day but typed letters can't. so anyway, read if only you're keen or if you really have got nothing else better to do cos this may be pretty long i sirpoze. but anyway, i went on msn last night, and IN talked to me, well we do but this is accordingly. so then he went on webcam, and he was drinking again so i asked, " are you drinking ? :o) " the reason behind my question has something to do with what we talked about the day before.
it's long so i shall skip it. so then he apologized and said he's depressed and really needed it cos that's the only thing that can keep him calm and that he's tryna drown his sorrows in alcohol yadeedeedah so i asked him wots wrong and he said,its mi mate ae he got killed last nite ae :(
car crash ae
he was one ov mi est mates ae
but i rather not talk about it
so then well, dun i didn't take him for real, cos it's probly just some sick april fool joke. but then as i looked at him further, shit. it truly was real. i really didn't know what to say. i mean, i can't possibly say " oh am so sorry about it, really. but trust me, everything's gonna be all right i promise. " COS EVERYTHING WILL NOT BE FINE ! so really i was just looking at him and hearing his words but not making a response. i just can't lah. i can't console guys i've sadly learnt about myself. so more than half of my time was spent looking and listening but never typing.
please don't scold me for being sucha block head but i said,
" dont drink too much, replace it with something else remember ?
i think you should go get some rest. "
i cant ae he was one ov the bros ae i cant gettha feeling outa mi head ae im bout to do some thing stupid aadn do somthing im gonnna reget ae i have to drink its the only thing keeping me carm so enough about meeeee im just fine
dont do anything stupid ok ? just remember, y'know life has to go on and yeh maybe it hurts now but you'll just have to deal with it.
nothing i say's gonna calm you or anythin but yeh.
i cant proomess any thing ae but if i do make sure it not on acm ae
cam
ha ha sorry but i just have to laugh :D ( i deserve a slap yes ? but really it's funny right !! )
qwell im sorry i didnt crash that car mi mate was in ae thats ok u probly got more boys on list to talk to ae its ok imnot drunk look i can still send a u a fucking pig see
3/31/2008 9:54:50 PM Bub's69er sent the wink "Pig"
see a drunk person cold nt do tht you still ther >
?
thats ook u dnt hve t0 talk tp me eae to
i only wanna talk to you. but nothin's gonna go in with you feelin like this
yes im complet soba talk to me
some one talk to me
plzzzz
im feeling loanly at the mo ae
inndddd smon 1 to talk to
need
im soory but i dont see what i done rong
can oi tel me plllzxxxxxxxxxxxxzzzzzzzzzzzzz
plzzzzzzzzz
wait rite ther ima bout to punch thiss cunts head in
mi lfe is falling a part i no wot can i do about that ?>
so wht yu dong
doing
killing my brain cells, thinking about what to say to make you feel better ?
awwww dont bother but fanks any way im ok realy
well then quit drinking. it's not gonna clear yor mind or anythin
yea i will try just 4 yu
promise ?
yea i will try
look istat now tht was my last bottle k
ok i prmess u wont b let down ae
okay im counting you on that
yea ok
wait brb
hay i think i need help
sorry i was away anyway, i'll help you with all that i can
ru sure ?
ye
i dono mi lif is fuked
look at the brighter
side um that mi mate didnt die from suwicied thats probly the best i go t
wait, is he dead or he's just seriously injured ??
nah man hes gone from my life man i miss ya bro
he was like mi brother ae u wold nver see us apart a
well i beter go you dony want to here this shit ae
well
just go get some rest, you need it. we'll talk about this tomorrow when you're calmer
yea i hope
i hope im still alive tomoro i got to drive home were i live at the moae ae
well tack care
shit can you still drive ?
um its eze ae put your foot dowm nd ur oof ae
be careful ye
well this drive way looking bit triky aeeeeee
'i dont no ae i mite fuking crash onthhe way ae but y dont no unless ya try ae ya
be safe.
yea i try if i dont talk to u tomoro im probly dead at lest i get to see mi mate ae '
but then i wont be able to talk to you anymore and i cant try out your dishes in future ( self centred. and well, it's someting we talked about before and i fucking suck at consoling so stfu. )
well im sorry thats just a sacrifice i have to macke ae i dont lik to drink and drive but as smashed as i am i probly end up at the pig staion ae
or dead ether one u pick ?
i'll pick you alive definitely no matter what you feel
well at least some one care about me
fuck
fuck
fuck
i cant do this man i know im gona crash ae i can just fell it ae
let's talk so you dont have to drive
um that probly the best idea you evver have
were would i be if i didnot meetyou
you r cute smart fun you like mi mate ae but more bete mate e
we will meet, tomorrow night time here so you better drive safe and keep in mind that i will be talkin to you tomorro
um ok i will just stay here i fink ae
yeh good im bit too smashed ae shouldnt ov skulled those bottles ae im prittywasted man
well i guse i see you later
tack care xoxoxoxo
you take care :)
chat with you soon thank you for evry thing man
i cant thank you enoughman
i'll be there when you need a listening ear, have a good night sleep. ( i really meant my words. )
thank you ,you r a tru mate ae wel see ya
see you *loves.
see y xoxoxoxo
okay somehow as i type on, i don't feel the sadness i felt when i was chatting wit him. it just seem like as though everything is all right y'know ? though frankly, i was feeling jolly i was making a joke and foolin around laughing with jasone when i was TTHim. ahh well. it's just, y'know. i really don't know how to explain cos my feelings can't be written or painted. but if you'd really want to know, i care more about IN, not his bez friend just because. a parag from my diary.
" i feel his friend is a real lucky lad. may he rest well in heaven. becos if he can hear me, i want to tell him that issac nathan really do love you as a friend and losing you is the fucking worst thing that can happen to him. IN treasures and adores you so much he doesn't mind death so long as he can see you. that's how he treats oyu as a bro. i'm not good with words neither am i good with art but nathan was really, devastated. i hope IN is well. "
