I bruise easily so be gentle when you handle me.

my heart feels so, i don't know how to describe what i'm feeling. i'm having such a bad nausea. it won't go away. my life time horror has just come looking back for me. i wanna cry i wanna scream i wanna tear when i see him hugging his girl cos she too was scared, just like me, just like farah. i so badly hoped i was in her shoes knowing i'll be safe under his tight hug reminding me somebody will still by my side when i'm scared. somebody that will assure me everything's gonna be okay cos i've got him. i hope this phobia of mine'd go away. it all started a few years ago in china. i witnessed 2 guys chasing a man with knives in their hands and they were repeatedly slashing and chopping him. not only that. they stomped on his head repeatedly even after he fell and was bleeding profusely, even when he couldn't stand up, even when it was totally obvious he has got no more energy and he's about to die. and when he was taken away in the truck, he just stood all alone in a pool of blood. he wasn't even IN the truck. he was just sitting all alone hugging himself sitting OUTSIDE the truck. i was just rooted there. i looked normal outside but inside, i was scared. i was dead scared. i couldn't express my feelings to anyone cos i only had my elder brother and uncle by my side. i couldn't tell them i needed to cool but i didn't had a chance to chill. and this feeling's just so raw. i never needed anyone to care for. but now, i want everyone. i wanna hug you for as long as it takes for me to cool but nobody's home with me. nobody. all by myself, i'm sitting here feeling really sick and scared of eveything i saw. i don't wanna be so alone. i wanna cry. i really feel lost and i feel omg, do i sound lonely ? cos i'm just so freaked out by the incident shiet i wanna die. I'M FUCKING SCARED ! urggggggggggh !
okay, farah and i were in the train with me singing jojo's version of beautiful girls cheerfully when i was interrupted by this man roaring at some guys. i looked up to see an indian man raising his voice at this smaller looking malay guy.

" you don't say like this to me ! "
" what !? i only tell you to sit right ! "
" you say ' you want to sit you sit la ! ' i tell you you don't rude to me ! "
" what ! i only tell you you want sit then you sit right !? "
" eh boy ! you don't be rude to me ! "
" i say you want sit . . "
" II SSAAYY YYOOUU DDOONN''TT BBEE RRUUDDEE TTOO MMEE ! " (double letterings stand for shouting at the top of his voice.)
" what's your problem siol !? "
SIOL.
before malay could say more, a punch landed on his face." why you punch me for ! " and then more punchings continued. malay didn't punch back at first but slowly, he returned all those tight fists. malay fell against the door. farah and i were totally rooted. my jaw touched the ground, literally. i was like shiet. bad seat. what if he punched us too if he wasn't suang ( cool in chinese. ) ? and throughout the whole journey home, i felt like a rotten prata. farah and i kept quiet the whole time. my heart still skipped and jumped real fast. i couldn't cool so i went to listen to some music to ease myself. finally, the train reached our destination. i only managed to gasp in about 2 big gulp of fresh air before the next train come. i wanted to skip it cos i needed fresh air but farah reminded me that was the last train. i felt like i was gonna throw up. i dropped at bukit batok mrt. exchanged big ass tight hug with farah and i left alone, dreading every steps i took. i just didn't wanna be left alone, especially with the state i was in. i was again, welcomed by a series of an unfortunate event. there weren't any buses left as it was already past midnight and the last bus was at 23 45 which was i forgot what bus. i felt lost for a few moment there so i ranged cheepeng to ask for help but he who wasn't the least bit helpful, told me i was screwed and screwed and still screwed. just when i was about to " break down " , i saw a cab at the traffic light. he indicated to me he could bring me home so i went home with him in his shining armour. and believe was hell good. that lead guy's a total cutie ! he's like a mixed guy.
*_* meltzzzzzz.
it's a musical sorta thang. one and a half thumb upzzz. we had our dinner at arab street, nasi goreng kampong and teh tarik bang or something. iced tarik. rice tasted great considering the fact that we didn't have anything except for some drinks. i had apple cranberry throughout the whole journey to the recital theatre to the end of the play. i was growling inside but sad to say, i was too overjoyed with something someguy i couldn't eat heavenly. well well well, this guy, this guy's a " pure white ang mor skater. " i was telling far that guy with the green cap looks so cute through the reflection while waiting for train. i was simply groping over his cuteness. he looked that kinda guy that doesn't go around groping at every girls that passes his way's assets or shietsoever. he looked so homeboy it attracts me. he just looked so . . . . so the type i like ! y'know ? that doesn't flirt should be what i'm tryna say. when we got into the train, mr skater was only a few feet away from us. and aunty tan told me tazaikangwomenliangchilor.i was happy like haha, but when i looked at him, he had sucha stern face i totally lost my interest or whatsoever.
" you know i don't mind going to changi airport. d'ya wanna stop now ? "
the obnoxious queen didn't know what was happening so i just left at city hall. and when we were out, far was like telling me to say goodbye to my mr cuteness cos tayizhizaikangzuowotahaisenazonggrindadanehgeworkeshiwobuyoukekangWONAMEBENGAH ! and he's the first ang mor that was attracted and paid attention but we just damn well-ly ignored !! urgh. i don't wish to blog anymore. i was just telling myself why i could be so silly. oh yes ! ahemahem, hey gyals and guys, the joke of the year ;
farah and i didn't wish to watch this random play at esplanade cos it was totally wasting our time but on the other hand, it was rude to just leave so when there was a pause in forever, i said " QUICK ! NOW !! GO !!! " just when i walked up and looked up after putting my cell phone back into my handbag, what happened ?
TAN FARAHLINA FELL DEAD FLAT LIKE A PANCAKE !! the whole place was like silenced and i didn't know what to do it was too sudden i could only ask if she was alright. farah was just, flat. haha, farah. it was great !
SO MUCH FOR TRYING TO AVOID THE WHOLE DARN PLAY DARL !

here're the many pictures =>

the artworks.
half way there.

" please do not take pictures. "

who made farah fall ?


after the play on the way to a'street.

i spotted this skateboard sign on at this bus-stop. and ;

shiet. this skateboard reminds me of him.

he made skating cool yo peoplez.


he may do a tripple flip.


he may run me over with that killer board . . .


but shiet ! i still like you !


eh eh eh !! that pose quite nice leh ! one more one more.

we put the patients at ease with our flying fingers.


yay time to break puasa !



nasi kampong.



i poke peoples' eyes.

it's now 4.40 in the morning and i was up since just nw busy uploading the pictures. dang i took like three hours just for this entry ?? i'm so slow =.=
oh yeh and real sorry for the bad editing of pictures. the original were so dark and i couldn't edit it brightly that well. buy me a new camera la dey. okay i wanna blog on forever but for the sake of my skin, g'night y'all.
sleep well =>
i'll go dream about mr skater. okay, i sound obsessed #.# zzzzzzzzzz